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Fran Acompora
Graduation Year:
1993
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Posted by: Jason Toomey
Memory: I just wanted to use this forum to update all the Marauders out there as to the whereabouts of our old friend Fran Acompora. After a successful four years in the back-woods sticks of the University of West Virginia, Fran graduated with Highest Honors (it is West Virginia though, so the ability to tie a shoe counts for a humanities credit). Following graduation Fran had a brush with fame as she appeared on the VH1 hit series Rock of Love with Brett Michaels. Unfortunately, she was eliminated after the first episode for vomiting on the other contestants during a strip club "skank off". Finding herself in the professional job market for the first time, Fran wanted to not only secure a job, she wanted to find a life's work. Having always graciously given her free time to Diabeetus charities, it seemed only natural that she would move in that direction in her professional life. Using the Hollywood connections she forged in the reality TV world, Fran has now been gainfully employed as the assistant/ apprentice to mega star and Diabeetus spokesperson Wilford Brimley. She is able to spread the message of early detection and successful treatment of Diabeetus through mail order medication. It is a glamorous life filled with gala balls and benefits where you'll often catch a glimpse of Fran on the arm of Wilford as the paparazzi clamour for the big money photo. Her job duties include, but by no means are limited to, injecting Wilford with his daily diabeetus medication, preparing his morning Quaker Oats (Apple Cinnamon, of coarse), cleaning said oatmeal out of Wilford's mustache, and assisting in the bathing process. She is grooming herself to take the lofty mantle of Diabeetus spokesperson following the unavoidable, diabeetus related death of Mr. Brimley. With a bit of luck and hard work, we will be seeing Ms. Acompora at two in the morning hawking mail order diabeetus medications durign the commercial break of the Oxi-Clean infomercial (We'll have to move her Bio over to the Celebrity Alimni section!!). We should all strive to make just a small percentage of the contribution that Fran has made to make the world a better place. Her tireless efforts on behalf of the Liberty Mutual organization are sure to lead us in to a brave new diabeetus free world.